A few days after the kiss, I found myself in a strange situation.
The realization that things had taken a turn between us, that things were now different for me – made things a little strange… even Alex could tell.
“Why are you acting weird”, he asked me as I downed a pint of beer as if it were water.
I could not get drunk fast enough – the butterflies I felt around him were driving me nuts!
“I don’t know”, I replied.
Alex on the other hand was absolutely fine, cool as a cucumber… like he always was.
This infuriated me, consequently giving birth to a new personality. Crazy, irrational, emotional, psycho me.
Until this point I genuinely thought I didn’t have it in me.
I started analyzing every word he said, analyzing every flicker of his eye, convincing myself he was bored in my company, convincing myself he was no longer attracted to me.
Am I ugly?
All I could do to shut up the insecure voices in my head was drink more beer. Before I knew it I was slurring my words.
The beer stripped away all my inhibitions, and I summoned the courage to ask what had happened with the ex that he was still calling his girlfriend on the night we met.
To my surprise, Alex felt the need to unload some truths, revealing that his long term relationship hadn’t ended like he initially told me – there was more to it. He also revealed that he wasn’t actually an architect.
By the end of his story, I could not see straight through the haze of beer, emotions and craziness in my own head.
Still unsure if his previous relationship was finished when we had first met, I found myself infatuated with a guy I knew absolutely nothing about.